Amy Patterson – “My Thoughts”

Posted on Tuesday, December 10, 2013 at 1:51 pm

I’ve had a pretty good week, overall. This means I have very little to rant and rave about, and, in my mind, very little to write a column about. But I’m going to give the people what I tell myself they want and do it anyway.

This week, I’m going to tell a few jokes, because I think that sounds like fun, and who doesn’t like fun or jokes? Nobody.

Before I begin, I don’t know about the legalities of this, but I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to tell you I don’t own these jokes. Or something. Whatever.

Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?

A: Bison

^^Ha. That one’s stupid, but I love puns.

Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A: A Roamin’ Catholic.

^^Double Ha! I hope my fellow Catholics appreciate that one.

Q: Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

A: Fo’ drizzle.

^^Pahahaha!

Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?

A: Because it’s a little meteor.

^^Silly moon.

Q; Where does George Washington keep his armies?

A; In his sleevies

^^Oh.My.Gosh. I laughed really loud when I read that one.

Q: What did one hat say to another?

A: You stay here, I’ll go on a head!

^^Go on a head. Ha!

“There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ‘You man the guns, I’ll drive’.”

^^Everybody knows fish can’t drive.

Q: Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?

A: He wanted to get a long little doggy!

^^One of my absolute favorites.

“Have you heard the one about the Corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines!”

^^Corduroy jokes are always classy.

Q: What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

A: WATAAAAA!

^^Get it? Like water, but kung-foo-ish.

Q: What do clouds wear under their shorts?

A: Thunderpants!

^^Ha.

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